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Diane Knittle
dianekni@rochester.rr.com
Brighton, NY
Last
two years of his life
Communion Minister & friend |
08
May 2006
Mike was my son, Paul's, baseball coach. He
inspired Paul to never give up and his memory gave Paul the spirit to get
through all the rigors of the US Naval Academy. He often said, "Mike didn't
choose cancer and he never gave up; I chose the Academy so I can't give up."
Paul wore Mike's funeral program inside his Navy Midshipman cover to remind
him of courage. He keeps Mike's number and a copy of a speech Mike gave on
the console of his car. I have no doubt that it will go with him in a few
weeks as he deploys to the Middle East for 6 months on the USS COLE. I was
privileged to be able to bring Communion to Mike and Erin during his
illness, whether at home or in the car at the McQuaid field, receiving
Christ in the Eucharist always seem to give him a visible peace. I miss him
and his strong faith. Knowing how he endured gives me the courage to face
whatever may come my way in life. |
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Ryan
Fennell
Pittsford, NY
1990-2002
son |
02.March.2006
hey, its not really a memory, but recently i've been told that i look like
him alot when he was the same age as i. also for baseball, i've been
using most of his gloves, i just think its pretty cool on how i guess
we are pretty similar now.
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Meghan Fennell
Pittsford, NY
daughter
9 years old |
Sunday, January 01, 2006
I have so many memories of my dad. I would have
to start with my 1st memory of my dad. When ever I was sad he would do his
BUCKY BEAVER face to cheer me up or if I wasn't sad he would just do it, but
I bet he loved to do his bucky beaver face to make me smile, I bet he loved
to see my beautiful face light up, hahahaha!
My 2nd memory of my dad, every fall he would
rake with me and swing me on my yellow tree swing ,...what a strong man to
push me so high hahahaha ..........WHAT ITS TRUE!!!!!!!!
I definitely remember when I was watching his
games at McQuaid even though I was too young to read I had no idea what the
score was but I bet they kept winning every game .............. what a team
they were. This is not a memory but I knew that my dad was a wonderful brave
strong handsome man and a dad even today he is still like that. |
click for a larger image
Meghan, in Mike's Little League uniform,
holding 10" of hair she donated to "Locks
of Love." |
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Lisa Cooney
lcooney@rochester.rr.com
Pittsford, NY
2000-2002
friend
I met Mike when Ryan turned up on my son Paul's
baseball team, and Mike's brother-in-law Bruce Baker worked with my husband. |
Wednesday May 25, 2005
Mike was coaching the McQuaid team and usually came late to watch Ryan, then
10 years old, play for his Little League team. Actually that year both Ryan
and my son Paul, also 10, played very seldom since they were the youngest on
the team. Since I am not a big baseball fan, I am only interested in the
game when my child is playing, and since Paul was benched a lot I made
friends with the parents to pass the time. Mike was full of wisdom about
baseball and helped me to keep things in perspective.
Over the next couple of seasons Paul and Ryan ended up on many of the
same teams, spring and summer, and I was lucky enough to sit with Mike and
his family often during games, listening to his stories and learning about
baseball. What a great teacher! He never put me down for my ignorance. His
ideas have stayed with me and indeed still guide our baseball decisions for
both of our sons. It is amazing how often I find myself quoting Mike in
conversations at baseball fields.
At first I thought of Mike as a typical jock, the big burly guy who loved
sports and didn’t care for literature, who watched games on TV and ignored
talk radio. The opposite of me. After he got sick, however, I saw an
entirely other side of him – one that was spiritual, open, gentle, loving,
and kind to everyone.
One night many of us went to Our Lady of Lourdes for a healing mass, and
after the mass this guy named Tony did a "laying on of hands" which I had
never even heard of before. At Mike’s request, the McQuaid baseball team was
there to be "catchers" I innocently sat in the front row having no idea of
what was coming. After the mass the boys lined up, and as people came up to
be prayed over they would literally pass out! At first the boys smirked and
laughed as they caught people to prevent them from cracking their heads open
on the hard marble floor or on a pew, but eventually the boys realized that
these people were not faking. They became very intent on what they were
doing and gently laid people down.
After everyone who wanted to had come forward, it was the boys’ turn to
be prayed over, and they were nervous. Many of them passed out also, and
they took excellent care of each other. Their faces were so peaceful and
happy and excited! Those boys will never forget that night. Afterwards I
went up to Mike and I said, "Mike I have a serious problem. I am in love
with each and every one of the boys on your team!" He looked at me and
opened his eyes real wide and said, "Lisa, now you know how I feel about
them!" I think he did love them, and they knew it, and that is why they
played so hard for him. He didn’t coach just for the love of baseball, or
for the glory of having a winning team. He really did love those kids. That
is why seeing them all at his funeral holding up their bats made me cry so
much – with grief as well as happiness.
Mike Fennell was the person who made me realize what baseball could do
for my sons, and I will always be so grateful to him for that. (And so will
my husband!) Before I met Mike and walked the painful path a ways with him
and his family, I thought that all sports were pretty intellectually void
and just activities to do for exercise, fun but not that worthwhile. Thus it
was very hard for me to deal with having two athletic sons. Why didn’t they
read more books and want to take art and dance classes? What was I doing
wrong as a parent? Through my many conversations with Mike during the time I
knew him, I came to see the incredible psychological value in playing for a
team, and to appreciate the immense benefit children get from having other
caring adults in their lives. Good coaches, in essence, help you raise your
children up with just the values you would want them to have – hard work,
honesty, dedication to the team, commitment, loyalty, respect for authority.
The list goes on and on.
My friendship with Mike also totally changed my life because his
willingness to talk about his spiritual journey during his fight with cancer
enabled me to think about my own spirituality in a new way, and resulted in
my decision to convert to Catholicism, a move that has improved my life
immeasurably. Talking about baseball from a spiritual perspective helped me
to stop resisting my boys and to enter wholeheartedly into supporting their
athletics. Mike is a role model for me in so many ways – as a coach, as a
friend, as a husband, and as a brother. I didn’t know him for very long, but
what an effect he had!
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William "Pasta" Guarino
carpetsbyfrench@tampabay.rr.com
Clearwater, FL
1970
-
Friend |
May
11, 2005
I
MET MIKE WHEN HE MOVED INTO THE NEIGHBORHOOD JUST TWO STREETS FROM BRENTWOOD
LN. WE BECAME FRIENDS AS YOUNGSTERS PLAYING SPORTS IN THE SCHOOLYARDS,
BACKYARDS, DRIVEWAYS AND ON THE FROZEN PONDS. THE "BRENTWOOD BOYS " WAS A
SPECIAL BUNCH OF KIDS THAT GREW UP TOGETHER, PLAYED TOGETHER AND REMAINED
FRIENDS FOREVER. MIKE WAS ONE OF THOSE BOYS. I WILL NEVER FORGET THAT SMILE,
THAT LAUGH. I WILL NEVER FORGET MY FRIEND AND TEAMMATE. GOD BLESS |
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Dirk Schumacher
Fairport, NY
knew
Mike 1978-2002
friend
I met Mike through mutual friends playing
basketball at Northside-Dudley. |
January 20, 2005
Mike
was so easy to warm up to. I used to play basketball every Monday night at
Northside-Dudley and met him through a bunch of his classmates (Roy Lotzar,
Joe Mannix, etc.). I don't really recall any formal introduction, but felt
that I knew him much better than I really did.
Every time we crossed paths, we caught up on each other's lives like old
buddies.
The one memory I have of Mike that stands out as an example of his concern
and caring for others is when I had plans to be in Florida while he was
there for spring training with the Yankees. I had a customer that was a huge
Don Mattingly fan and desperately wanted his autograph. When I told Mike I
was going to be in the area, he sent me four tickets for the game and told
me to wander down to the bullpen so he could get Mattingly's
signature for me. My plans got screwed up and I didn't get to the game in
time to meet Mike, but I saw the team bus on my way out, walked on looking
for Mike, was quickly ushered off by security, but managed to leave my
unused tickets with someone I don't recall. I asked if he would give Mike
the tickets, have them signed and send them to me.
I forgot about this whole thing until about 2 months later when an
envelope with the NY Yankees return address showed up at my house. Inside
were four tickets all signed by Donny Baseball, and a note from Mike
apologizing for taking so long! My customer was thrilled, I gave two other
tickets away to some other friends, and kept one (along with the note from
Mike) for myself.
Years later I took one of my kids to a Bills game and ran into Mike. We were
sitting near field level and we walked out together up the 35-40 rows.
Although I didn't think much of it at the time, shortly thereafter I
realized why Mike was so winded after creeping up stairs that he normally
could have run up backward without breaking a sweat. The next day he was
diagnosed. Sadly, this was the last time I saw Mike.
A little more than a year ago I moved from my house into a different one.
This is the time to clear out the junk, but I came across the Yankee
envelope and all my memories of Mike, and how thoughtful he was came back.
I only wish I had thought to have Mike sign it
also. I wish I had a
chance to spend more time with Mike, but in our limited times together I
feel like he was one of my best friends.
My thoughts go out to his entire family. |
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Erin Fennell
Pittsford, NY
Relationship: Wife
1984
- eternity
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01-December-2004
This has been a hard step, trying to think of all the wonderful memories
of Mike, and choosing what to share. That will come in time, however this is
a story about Mike's spirit that truly is with me every day. If I didn't
believe that, the pain would be unbearable.
It was not long after Mike died, the kids were outside playing. I was
sitting in our family room - as usual, full of grief, and not wanting to do
much-not even with the kids.
Ryan-at the time 12-came running in asking if we could take the training
wheels off Meghan's bike-who was 6.Kaelan-8, my middle was involved too. I
quickly responded-NO! In my heart I knew that was Mike's job, he taught the
other two, and I was not even going to go there.
They sadly went back outside. Some time had gone by, and I then heard
screaming, and laughter. I angrily went outside to tell them to stop,
knowing they didn't listen to me.
There before me was my Meggie - laughing as she circled the yard on her
"two" wheeler, and Kaelan and Ryan were cheering her on. There on the
driveway was Mike's tool kit - tools everywhere.
All I could do was cry with joy, feeling so proud of those kids and so
sorry for how I acted.
I knew Mike was the instigator of it all - he always taught them on grass
first.
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Jim
Deshaies
The
Woodlands, TX
knew
Mike: College & Beyond
Friend
Mike and I were classmates and teammates at
LeMoyne and played together in
the Yankee organization.
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11-June-2004
When
I think of Fen, it is the fun-loving college kid I know best.
 I
see him at the college world series our freshman year, adorned in a bed
sheet roaming the hotel terrorizing teammates {Steve Helmer} as the would be
wresting star, The Sheik. He laughed more easily than just about anyone I've
ever known.
The night before Lori and I were married, Mike
and I decided to stay out after the rehearsal dinner. We were out pretty
late and as was the custom ended up at a greasy spoon diner at closing time.
We were pretty much the only ones there. The juke box was playing some
mournful country song that was droning on endlessly. Mike had this real
dead-pan expression on his face as he strolled over to the juke box,
essentially lifted it off the floor and gave it a good shake, thus ending
our misery. It was reminiscent of Belushi in Animal House. |
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Dave Laws
Houston, TX
friend - high school
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27-May-2004
I
grew up in the same neighborhood as Mike. Although I cannot say that Mike
and I were friends, we knew each other through my sister (FHS class of 1978)
and Kathy and Billy Gamble, close friends of Mike's.
 My earliest memory of Mike was when he and Billy Gamble used to play hockey
on a frozen pond in our neighborhood. I recall sitting on a fallen tree
watching these guys play a game I knew nothing about. I could not then --
and still cannot -- skate. I was in awe. These guys were only two
years older than I, but they seemed and played like grown men.
Another vivid memory I have of Mike was in the FHS gym. He was hitting
tennis balls from the pitching machine. I say he was hitting the tennis
balls, but he was shattering them. He had a great swing and I watched
him for quite some time. I can't tell you how many hours he spent in the gym
beating the crap out of those poor old tennis balls. I knew I was watching a
great, young star baseball player. It did not take a genius to figure this
out if you saw him swing that bat. His swing was amazing!
I heard of Mike's illness less than a year ago (2001), not too long after his
team's Section V title. I was shocked, then I was angry because my parents
intentionally kept the bad news from me because of my own illness. They
meant well, but cancer patients share a common link -- an experience -- a
life changing event that all cancer patients share. Only former or current
cancer patients know what I'm talking about. I wish I could verbalize it
with others, but I can't find the words to accurately describe the
"rollercoaster" ride cancer tends to be.
I don't know why, but I felt compelled to call Mike to see how he was doing.
Remember, I hardly knew Mike, but I knew that he knew I had cancer and
thought a phone call would be a nice thing to do.
So, I picked up the phone and called him.
He answered the phone and I asked him if he
remembered me. I told him that I knew it was weird for me to be calling him,
but was "compelled" to do so. I was not sure how he would react to my call,
from a person he barely knew. He asked how I was doing and he proceeded to
tell me his story. He told me in a straight clear tone of voice, almost
matter-of-factly, that he was diagnosed with inoperable stage IV lung
cancer.
I was floored -- stage IV inoperable! He told
me his tumor was in his pericardium (near the heart), which is why they
could not operate on him to remove the tumor. Chemotherapy and/or radiation
was the only chance for extending his life. I knew this, having researched
cancer staging myself.
However, the more I spoke with him, the more I realized that he seemed more
alive than me. I called to give him hope, but soon realized he had
much more hope than I ever had ... or ever will. He had no doubt he would
survive this cancer thing. I remember feeling like such a wimp, because
there I was feeling sorry for myself, thinking about "poor old me" and
wondering how long would it take for my illness to re-occur.
I recall asking him if he got depressed or angry at the world when he was
first diagnosed (this is common for most new cancer patients). He simply
said, "No, I just want to get this behind me".
I was floored!
This guy had more courage than I could ever think of having. "How can this
guy, who has had a tougher time than me, have more faith and courage than
me? After all, my types of cancer are quite treatable with favorable
outcomes."
So you see, it turned out that he gave me more hope and courage from talking
to him. I was the one who was suppose to do that. Nope, not Mike. We wished
each other well and told each other that we would pray for each other.
I did not sleep for two nights straight after my phone call to him.
I was overwhelmed by his courage and belief. I
thought that I should not have called him and I wondered what I must look
like to him. Heck, my cancer is child's play compared to his, and I was
calling him to give him hope?! I could tell he sensed that I was
uncomfortable and he tried to comfort me!
I will miss Mike, but I will always remember him because of his courage. He
may not have been aware of it at the time, but he has given me more strength
and hope for if and when my illness returns.
I'm sure he touched many other cancer patients
the same way he touched me.
Thank you, Mike! No offense, but because of you I have no plans of seeing
you any time soon.
--
Dave Laws
- submitted May 17, 2002 to
fairport1980.com |
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~ Note: It was
Dave's shared memories of Mike which started a chain of events that
eventually lead to the
creation of this website. |
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Patrick Kearney
pat@putnamtransportation.com
Powell, OH
knew
Mike: 1970-2002
friend
Our families moved to Fairport about the same
time. I was right between Tim and Mike in school. We first met through
little league. |
19-May-2004
On
the day of the Discovery Ball in April 2002, Mike's McQuaid team had an 11
am game v. Bishop Kearney. I met Mike at his house that morning, had time to
visit with Erin and have a time of prayer before we left for the game.
When we got to McQuaid, Mike had a great surprise in store for me. He had a
uniform for me to wear, had me throw some batting practice to his team and
coach first base during the game. When the school photographer showed up to
take the team picture for the year Mike had me sit right next to him. For
anyone wondering who the unidentified person is in the 2002 McQuaid baseball
team picture is, it's Patrick Kearney, FHS '77!!
I didn't know that day at the game and evening at the Discovery Ball would
be the last time I would get to spend with Mike. As always, Mike was
thinking of what he could do for others. He made that day very special for
me and created a memory that will have to last until I meet with him in
heaven. |
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Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking.
It is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.
~ I Corinthians 13:4-8
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Wendy Shinay
wshinay@rochester.rr.com
Pittsford, NY
Knew Mike: 1996 - 2002
friend - neighbor
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17-May-2004
This
is one memory of Mike that completely exemplified what a great and
thoughtful human he was - especially towards kids.
My Brittany was participating in her dance
school's annual candy drive and she was doing the typical thing of going up
and down the streets in the neighborhood, soliciting orders. Even though it
was candy, it wasn't an easy sell because the products were expensive and
she felt badly asking people to buy the stuff.
Anyway, she had a little success and then saw
Mike outside chatting it up or waving to everyone who came by, taking a
break from mowing the lawn to throw a ball around with his three kids
(typical great dad, Mike with his priorities firmly in place which is why
his kids are the fantastic kids they are).
She approached him to see if he might want to
order something and he really took his time deciding. Then he said "Well,
I'm having a tough time deciding so you know what - I'd better order all
three of my favorites!" Well, Brittany nearly fell over --
the best order of the whole day and that was all she could talk about.
 When the order came in, his was the very first
she delivered. Just wonderful Mike being wonderful Mike.
We all miss him so much and this memory website
is a fantastic idea. Thank you for providing a chance to share a memory.
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"Brownie"
Gary Brown
gary_brown@rge.com
Fairport, NY
Knew
Mike: 1972-2004
Friend
We grew up together hanging with the same group. |
17-May-2004
During Mike's illness on St.Patricks Day 2002, I decided at the last minute
to take Mike (Fen) out on the town with some other folks. I called from my
car to tell him to get ready.
When picking Mike up at home Erin (Mother
Goose) read me the act that Mike was taking all of these medications and
could not be indulging with us. Behind her was Fen rolling his eyes and
gesturing for me to get out of the house so we didn't need to hear Erin.
We proceeded to a couple of taverns down in the
City of Rochester and ended up (1:30 AM) at another watering hole to
complete the evening.
Some of the friends that I was with didn't know
Fen but knew the story of his illness and his association with baseball. He
was holding court with these guys all night reminiscing the Yankee days.
 Some of the questions: Who was the hardest
throwing Pitcher to Who would you want to close a seventh game in the World
Series? You could hear a pin drop as Fen was talking. He had this way with
folks that I have never seen in other people.
Well as Fen walked through the door of his
home, there stood Erin.
After seeing the smile from ear to ear from
Fen, she could not have been happier to see her man the happiest he had been
in a while. But the clincher -- as I was leaving? Was when Erin asked how
many beers did he have?
Without missing a beat? Fen said "One"!
With that being said I bolted out of the house
in laughter and told Fen the next day if that's the story he was going with,
it's all good with the friends that he entertained the night before.
Kids, This "One's" For You! |
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I hold it true, what'er
befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow
most;
'Tis better to have loved
and lost,
Than never to have loved at
all.
~ Alfred Lord Tennyson
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Kaelen Fennell
Pittsford, NY
family - daughter
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16-May-2004
When
my mom was just aboutt to get out of the house for me to get born. My dad
said," I have to go to the bathroom." Well we have to go now, no I have to
go now, My father said. Well if we dont go now we will be having a huge
axcident, said my father. Well if we dont go now we will be having a bigger
mess. But unfortanally my father won |
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